King/Queen of Your Castle

What does that even mean…king/queen of your castle? Let us start by defining what a king, a queen, and a castle are.

King: “A male monarch of a major territorial unit” (Dictionary, 2024). 

Queen: “A female monarch” (Dictionary, 2024). 

Castle: “A large, fortified building or set of buildings” (Dictionary, 2024). 

In short, they rule their territory or castle. You might think, “I don’t have a castle,” but you do. Think of yourself, your body, and your mind, as your castle. You are a castle. Often the idea is to protect your castle from threats or enemies, which is done by having a solid defense strategy such as a moat, drawbridge, thick extra wall, and defense weaponry. All of these are good, they help to secure the castle from outside attacks that threaten to tear down your castle and leave you vulnerable. We want to develop and have these measures in place when it comes to managing stress (life and organizational), critical incidents/traumatic events, and trauma. This in essence is our resilience.

Although, what happens when the attack comes from within? That is the question plaguing the first responder/ law enforcement community. We have done exceedingly well at providing resources to individuals in need or crisis, but how do we bridge the gap between having the resources and getting individuals to make use of the resource? Well, it comes down to understanding your castle and what is happening. You are the king/queen of your castle. Sometimes the battle does not come from the outside, sometimes it is insurrection from within your castle walls. These are the voices that tell you things such as “You are alone,” “No one cares about you,” “They will think you are weak,” “You can't do it anymore,” “You might as well be dead,” and “Go ahead, end your pain, kill yourself.” These are all lies. You need to understand and know that you are not alone in your fight.

You must let down the drawbridge, extinguish the fiery molten tar, open the gate, and let the allies in. Your castle is burning down from the inside out, you have to be the one to open the door.

You are not a last stronghold on the mountaintop trying to survive. It might not seem like it, but YOU HAVE ALLIES!

Psalm 23:4 states, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4, English Standard Version).

Psalm 23 is often recited during times of loss, but it has a powerful message that we should not forget. You are not alone…ever.

Do not quit, do not give up, ask for help.